Before I share the song, I'd like to share what's been on my heart. I recently heard an audio sermon given by one of my former high school teachers - the theme of the sermon was "everyone's got something." And it's true. Everyone's got something that sticks out like a sore toe in their life - something that affects most areas of your life, for better or for worse. Something that you, specifically, struggle with or that has, for the time being, stumped you as to how to handle it. Perhaps it is something that you hold on to because you have too much fear over it to give it to God. It seems like the world is becoming an angrier and more hostile place to live in, especially if you're a Christian. So, it just follows that people are more stressed than before, under more pressure than before, and dealing with multiple "somethings" in their lives.
What's been on my heart is that because these things seem to be increasingly true, it also seems to become harder and harder for Christians to have grace with one another, much less try to understand someone else's "something" because their own "somethings" are so poignant and different from that of their fellow brother or sister in Christ. In other words, the pressure and hostility in the world is also weaving its way in between Christian brothers and sisters. It is usually difficult enough for a Christian to struggle through his or her something(s) without also having to struggle through pressure from his/her Christian brothers or sisters who don't act with grace or understanding toward him/her. (I'm speaking specifically of Christians who are striving to or actively seeking a constant, growing relationship with the Lord here.) It is expected that the world should act hostile toward Christians, but that is not what I'm talking about.
While I have been experiencing intense anxiety over some situations in my own life of this nature, I have also been feeling convicted of doing just the same - not acting with understanding and grace toward my Christian brothers and sisters. And if I can't act with grace toward my Christian brothers and sisters, then how am I supposed to illustrate God's grace toward non-Christians who have yet to even experience the grace of God? After talking with a dear Christian sister recently, our conversation reinforced this conviction in my heart. Thinking about this today brought to mind a poignant video called "God's Glasses" that brings tears to my eyes every time I watch it. What if we were all just a little more aware that everyone's got something?
God's Glasses from keephopealive on GodTube.
In the Linkin Park song "Numb," which someone recently shared with me, I like the line "Just Caught in the Undertow" because that is such a good image for how I've been feeling overwhelmed with the anxiety of the situations in my life. The song has a little "heavier" sound than most music I typically listen to, but the frustration you can hear in the singer's voice is spot-on as much as the lyrics. If you don't like the music style of the song, you can just read the lyrics below it.
"Numb"
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
[Chorus:]
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me,
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you.
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you.
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take.
[Chorus:]
And I know
I may end up failing too.
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you.
[Chorus:]
* * * * * * * * *
In spite of the difficulty I've had with such situations lately, I don't want to miss what the Lord is trying to teach me through it. I'm sure I've made someone else feel this way before as much as I've been feeling this way lately, so I return my thoughts to Jesus Christ and the grace He extended to me. I return my thoughts to "How can I be just a little more aware that everyone's got something?"
