Bummed

Ever have those days where you just feel bummed?  I haven't written a blog post in over a week and this one won't be very long, but I sure do have a lot I want to eventually write. Although I have been doing a devotion every morning and really liking my devotion, it hasn't been long enough or enough time with God...and I can see the difference it makes in my daily life.  Today, my devotion was about yielding. The bottom line is:  Do you yield to yourself or do you yield to God?  Don't fool yourself now because that does you no good. I need God every moment, every day; I need to remain in God, and oftentimes, I yield to myself instead of to God.  I have days where I feel bummed (or in my case, struggling with depression) even when I'm in a close walk with God, but those times are shorter-lived because I quickly turn my eyes back upon Jesus and He helps me change my perspective.  If I'm not walking closely with God and have a day where I feel bummed (like today), I could have a pretty good day, and yet the simplest things could drastically pull me down. I don't as quickly turn my eyes back upon Jesus, so I don't step out of that funk quickly. 

My heart has been burdened by many things lately, but I haven't really dealt with these things:  I haven't prayed much for the things that are troubling me, I haven't read the Bible as much, I haven't talked to friends much, etc.  I suspect that I haven't been able to write a blog post in over a week not just due to a lack of time but also because I haven't been spending as much time with the Lord. Every day, I can feel and hear and see Him calling me back into a closer fellowship with Him:  what it is in me that has a hard time trusting Him?  What is it in me that tries to steal my passion for Christ and keeps me from leaping off the couch in the abundant joy of Christ and determined pursuit of the Lord?  I am so grateful that the Lord is always faithful and that He knows my anxious thoughts (Psalm 139:23), that if His eye is on the sparrow, how much more He cares for me (Psalm 84:3, Matthew 10:31, Luke 12:7), and that He knows me intimately and loves me (Psalm 139).  My heart is greatly troubled tonight, so I continue to pray this verse:  "From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed, O Lord, lead me to the rock that is higher than I." (Psalm 61:2)