Strengths and Weaknesses - Not Superwoman!

As I think and pray about numerous situations for family and friends this evening, I've been on a bit of an emotional and spiritual roller coaster that ended up with me thinking about my strengths and weaknesses.  I started worrying that my weaknesses outweigh my strengths and how that plays out in my relationships.

In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, Paul talks about how he had a "thorn" in his flesh that prevented him from becoming conceited because he was always reminded of his weaknesses, and though he asked the Lord to take away this "thorn" (which Paul perceived as a weakness and a hindrance), the Lord responded:  "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  

"Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."   -- 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

My soul is saved with the knowledge and faith that Jesus Christ is my Savior and that He died to save me from my sin nature so that I may be reunited with God; my mind is filled with the capacity to have understanding and depth of insight; my heart is full of compassion and empathy for others; I enjoy encouraging others; I have a heart that loves to worship the Lord; I have a detail-oriented mind and a love for learning that hungers to know God more; my mind is creative, which is useful both in understanding certain aspects of God as well as in relationships.  These are some of my strengths! But as I reflect further, I perceive at least several "thorns" in my flesh that I perceive to constantly hinder me:  my almost-constant physical pain and nerve-pain often make me impatient toward others in my actions or in certain situations while my mind and the Holy Spirit inside me are saying to behave otherwise; my lack of skill at managing my time between nurturing my relationships with God, husband, family and friends, and managing my time with work, house work, and a tiny bit of time for hobbies; my insecurity with believing that I am loved has been and continues to be a thorn in my flesh and constantly results in me coming to my own conclusions about how others feel toward me, which may or may not even be true; my pensive, introverted, indecisive and easily "socially exhausted" nature does not lend itself to having many close friendships - most friendships are surface ones - and then I go back to the previously mentioned "thorn" as I worry and doubt the extent to which any given person (family or friends) love me, or even like me; my tendency to run rabbit-trails in my head until I reach some decision or conclusion that often appears to be outlandish. If I allowed myself to remain on these thought patterns all the time, I would likely become a hermit who never comes out to have a relationship for fear of what everyone thinks or feels about me!

Praise God that His strength is made perfect in my weakness and that His grace is sufficient for me!  I may not be able as yet to know how to completely prevent my mind from wondering things like does this person love this other person more than me?  However, the tool that I DO have is the precious Word of God - His promises of love and grace and hope in spite of my weakness is what helps curb my fear. When I fill my mind with all the expectations I have for myself on top of all of the expectations that I perceive others to have for me, I am left a befuddled mess who has no clue where to start or how I can possibly spread myself so thin. I'm not Superwoman, I often tell myself. Whether some of those expectations are accurate or not, when I put all of that aside and focus on Jesus, all I have to concern myself with is His expectations of me. I'm hard-headed sometimes, so God has to remind me of this over and over, but when I finally focus on Him, the other things seem easier though I rarely can completely get rid of my sense of "failure."  I pray the Lord will help me with this as I continue to learn how His grace is sufficient for me and how His power is made perfect in my weakness!